i'm always here, ain't it.
people come and go, but i'm always here.

old people are coming back.
do i still treat them the same? or do i not?
the paradox of choices.

i kinda miss econs. when social sciences make sense. commonsense.
soci and social work are too abstract for me. lit's the max.
i am afraid.

you know, i hate having an expectations to fulfill.
and perhaps this is the first time i am so concerned about my grades,
about the need to fulfill the expectations.
and this feeling sucks. badly.
i want so badly to do well. but i am not. not living up to expectations.
if i lose it, mummy will be so upset. me, myself too.

i always make the wrong choices. and i hate making one.
selfishly, i want the best of both worlds.
tell me who doesn't?

one thing i like about uni is hall. i like the genuine closeness.
the rest should just diminish into thin air.
i hate the system. i hate the lecturers. i hate the tutorials.
i hate the apparent cold school.

angst. very angsty.
but this is life ain't it.
i see my dreams too far. too unattainable.

where art thou?
hope?
am i dumb?
deux freaking années longues

annie are you ok?
will you tell us that you are ok?

i realised that this week i've been speaking too much, talking too much.
i can't deny that feeling. it was awfully pleasant.
and guess what, i am so sure of what i am thinking. but perhaps not.

you know what, i will so hope for things to be in my way. to turn out the way i want it to be.
i will give myself up to recapture that time again and again.
but i guess it will all be futile. wouldn't it?

haha. if you dont understand, then don't bother.
it's meant for my reading pleasure.

me and val squeezed onto the same bed last night.
we wanted to wake up at 3am to study but we never did. instead we woke up at like 10.30am!

HOW TO STUDYYYYY?
hai.

study.

i realised that i don't really understand humans,

and tonight i miss home.

fish and co dinner :D haha! and our 6 cups of cola tonic!





my fave affair de :D

;
thank God for Providence. Whatever happens, i know You will provide.

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

what a simple song that makes me cry time and time again.
it triggers so much. so much more.
God, please work in me. give me strength. lift my legs and walk Your way.
let me traverse old domain no more. no more.
it's too hard to bear. my heart faileth me.

you know, i hate myself for being me.
my new found identity ain't exactly me. i dunno. i am still searching.
you know what, i really dunno myself.

Presenting to you: The Wild Discover Guides! :D

ida and her new baby that rah so dislikes

my little rah! (that is not so little anymore!)

life in hall!

and the old old friends!

all these overdued pictures!

anyway, i am selling earrings! :D

;

i don't know whether it's good or bad. i just knew it had happened.

i dare not put my hopes on it. it's too risky. it's too dangerous.

but i am glad that it happened.

and till i see again, care loads.

haha! i am back.
it's weird to be writing in the blog once again. there are many times i logged into blogger and penned a few words, but i will be struck with a writer's block and there goes my entry.

firstly, happy deepavali everyone! :D
went down to west coast cc to help out with this japanese youth programme, SSYEAP. this is my dream. to get on board the ship, sail out for 3 mths to all the asean countries and meet people from all over!! can't wait. i must accumulate all my experiences man!

talked to a few youths arnd the asean countries.
a cambodian, jolie. she studies french literature back home. HOW COOL LAH!
then the rest i can't rem their names and a few jap guys are really really really cute!!

sathya boy was sick so he didnt come )): (he's my teammate's baby)

anw, last night i felt that i should change my life a little.

;

i wanted so badly to upload my pictures online but it just doesn't seem to be working.
another time then.
bye.