and so my house is finally undergoing renovations. after 28 years.

while my sis and i were packing our stuff, we realized how much we used to read and write

and how writing has helped us straighten out our troubled thoughts and to just. ventilate.

here i am. revisiting my blog and writing again.

and this year has proven to be the most eventful year for me. 

1. i quit my job which i always knew was my passion but i am so sick of lousy management, bureaucracy and waiting for things to happen.
2. i am starting my own enterprise to create happiness or just bringing relief for both me and my clients (which was what i was hoping to do in my previous job) and i am definitely hoping that i will succeed. 
3. i've booked a ticket to Iceland on impulse. 
4. i'm going to travel to China or Taiwan on my own to be a farmer and just to be on my own and lastly, 
5. my 6 years long relationship came to an end. 

despite all these, the truth is, i have never felt so alive. 

"Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb."
- Hugh MacLeod

and it's so true. 

for the past two months, I have been struggling with the initial inertia to climb this Mount Everest after being put at the foot of it. Now, I am more than ready to start climbing. 

and whether i conquer it or not, that's not my priority. the process is key. 

i believe every thing happened for a reason and there's peace within me.

no anger no regrets. but definitely lasting memories. 

should things didn't happen, i wouldn't have gone for flower arrangement classes, felt the need to start my own business and eventually quitting my job. 

everything was already in God's plan. there was no running away from.

so now, all i have to do is to start trusting.
to trust myself and
to trust that God has bigger plans for me.

now that my initial securities are gone -
a long term relationship and a secure job.
i'm left with my business and there's no looking back.
i believe with God's love to have the passion to love and to deliver happiness
will bring me to higher grounds and to soar on wings like eagles.



But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint. 
Isaiah 40:31

i wonder if writing helps.

maybe it does.

and now i have to learn in the present and stop thinking of what's going to happen in the future.

maybe it's for the better.
i really hope so.

felt like shit this morning.
i'm out of the league.

just keep giving thanks. just keep giving thanks.

hello fellow cruisers out there. i'm still alive.
in the blink of an eye, it has been 3 weeks.
How time flies.

i think i'm better. much much better.
no more random outburst of emotions, no more wild thoughts,
no more thinking who he might be with. (maybe just some that comes on and off)

i really cannot control anything, except my own thoughts and actions.

looking back, the first week was the most torturous and painful week.
it hurt really badly;
the hangover feeling in your stomach, the aches in your chest and the myraid of evil thoughts in your mind.

i'm good at distracting myself. i gotta be good at it
gonna flood myself with random courses and meet ups.

but honestly, i still feel the regrets that it ended
and i am getting more and more confused why did it happen.
but the more i share, the more true it became.
however, when i look back,  i see more happy times instead;
that it happened and i never regretted. never. not a single moment of it.

thank God for the people i met. really. giving thanks again and again.

in this world, it's really hard to meet someone that you love.
i'm not saying that there is only one person in this world. no THE ONE
there are definitely many, but it's just hard to meet the right one.
there's no better or not.
it's just whether the one you meet now is worthy for all of your commitment,
to devote and to put in the effort.

there's no better or not.

How true it is that blogging is for the depressed.

Never expected myself to be back here blogging. 

But here I am, today.

day 2 gng to day 3.

It's has just been a confusion of emotions but never anger.

I wonder why I am not angry. I want to be but I can't.

I really thank God for the people He has placed in my life

Those I met before him, those I met thru him - all of them have been really awesome.

I thank God for having people in my life that are going thru all these tgt with me.

But also for this long journey through my youth. I nv regret it and still crave for more.

I'm cruising along fine. But with pockets of breakdowns.

Am surprised that I've survived thru my session which is so close to my raw feelings. 

I just want to cruise and I just want to hang around. 

How cathartic it is to be typing this on the iPad and tearing at the same time.

I hope the "message" was for me and not me being foolish.

I've chosen you and I don't want you to be falling. 

I will be here. 

We can't hide 4 yrs away.

you know sometimes in life,
you just never know when happiness will come and sadness will go.

and you will never know when everything will just happen
and different events will unfold on it's own


living by the hour I stop for every flower

it's always our most loved ones that we find it hardest to love

Sadly but true.

and I should be less harsh on myself emotionally but stricter on myself physically. I really cut myself a lot of slack sometimes ))):

#justwhining here because I don't want to tweet too much and irritate the many.

And I hope I will continue to grow. And grow to be a better person.
Not a very nice person now actually ):

I have been in this situation a thousand times and I seriously never learn a lesson.

Sometimes I really thank God for grace and wisdom.
In life, how many times do we make a wise decision and how many times we screw things up?

anw my birthday was awesome.
With the most awesome pple i have met in hall who have celebrated my bday without fail for the past 3 years that we have known one another.

Thank GOD for fwoc. For h3f ((:

hello wake up. sept has ended and oct is here.

like seriously. oct? and i'm gng to turn 23 soon.

)):

reality really sucks big time.

work has started and i have gotten my first month's pay.

life doesn't feel much different just that i have to get use to the fact that i will never enjoy the freedom i used to have when i was studying.

everything is fine except myself.

i need to change. change my expectations on myself. i have none for others but tones for myself.

it sucks to be very self-awared cos it's taking its toil on me.

yet this is not the end, just the beginning.

anniecheong, ur future is brighter.

at least i know when im 35, there is some glimpse of hope. i hope.

it's gng to be an awesome oct.

i am sure it is.

just keep floating. just keep floating.

and soon jan will come and a new year is here.

and i went geylang today for dinner!

first time in geylang without a car and people driving me around to redlight-district-watch.

haha. i really love sitting in the car and go rounds and rounds looking at the prostitutes.

this place is really one kind of interesting

SPOTTED: fake starbucks/ coffeebean.

when u can't convince, confuse the consumers.

and look at the small little "hoot" of durian that sy opened with all her might.

she kept insisting that there is still durian while i kept doubting.

and she was right (:

spore is filled with interesting and secretive places.

and i realised my most secretive hideout has been discovered by other people.

super sad and low.

)):

actually i just want my life to be very simple.

doing anything that engages my brain a little

and being able to do whatever i want.

i just want to be carefree.

i realised the richer you are the poorer you are in ur soul.

sadly yes.

and indeed whatever will be, will be.

from http://www.ohhellofriendblog.com/

that's why i love us.

people get to indulge in diy and in creative projects.

and smile their lives away.

went back for fwoc bbq today and it just seems as if i have never left before.

even though i no longer have a room to run back to when i am feeling bored,

even though i feel out of place amongst a bunch of strangers,

even though many of the old traditions have been changed,

i never fail to fall back and rely on the many memories i have created there,

and with the people who shared these memories

random last minute beer outings

12 midnight bday surprises

post formal dinners' craziness

rag day adrenaline and cheers on auto pilot

seriously. who gives a better fwoc.

sweetest rf's kids.

she actually made a tombstone (using paper!!) for her hamster who passed away!

5th floor girls

and the 3 of us ((:

still have others in my yr 2 and yr 3 lives

but i really regretted for mia-ing after fwoc.

nvm. guess i just have to make full use of what is left of us.

year came, year passed. many things have changed.

once was there, now is gone.

once was empty, now is filled.

the nicer nj - new jersey.

valley of fire and serendipity

haight-ashbury: world of hippies, bob dylan and peace

the golden gate bridge and i wish i could see this bridge off my window in the future

omg. i have a damn smart business idea!!!

i hope i will make it work!!

i am back from us. and i need a reality check.

and for once, i regret not going for exchange. very much indeed.

and i have learnt a lot abt freedom, individual rights and just being yourself.

and i went back to the annie in year 1.

it was a good trip indeed.

one that lasts forever.

haha! found this on my notes when i was busy cramming all my notes into the brain.

dr h o n g pronounced wife as waifu! LOL

last paper ever as an undergraduate tomorrow.

i don't even feel anything and i am writing something cos anything is better than studying.

nvm with God's grace i will survive.

anw, the elections fever is finally going to be over.

and i am more prepared to face the singapore post-election.

personally, i feel that as much as the govt is responsible for us, we are responsible for them

and when we have made a particular choice, we just have to stick to it and play a part in creating the change that we want to see.

we can't just imagine that simply by voting we have already played our part in creating the change.

it takes a lot of hard work and it takes the involvement of everyone.

we can't blame them for not doing anything when we can't be bothered to be involved in community work or helping the poor.

is it during elections that people become civic-minded?

"oh, i am angry about the inequality between the low income and those earning a lot"

and i wondered what have those people who complained about these inequalities been doing pre-elections.

whatever it is. the thing is. hopefully after this election, we will be more proactive in helping those we feel unjustified for.

i know i will. -signs pact-

(: study.

i think i care too much and hurt too much.
i should revert to the heck care me.
less trouble also.

it's like my exams have ended but it's not.

it's like life has a larger calling but maybe it's not.

i kept praying and praying for what i should become.

and sometimes i know but sometimes i don't.

but i am thankful for what i have become.

these 4 years have changed me a lot.

to someone i think my nj school mates (friends???) might find it too hard to recognize

i think it's for the better. so good for me. YAY

i can't really be bothered with my exams.

it's like i can forsee a long road ahead of me and exams seem too trivial now.

argh. and ge>exams. definitely.

politics is dirty. and there's no point trying to prove a point.

and as much as one party is playing dirty. the kettle is as black as the pot.

so be chills pple. don't be too emotionally charged. (note to self.)

5 more days to US! ((: YAY! ((:

and so little time left to catch up.

but those who want to stay will make a point to stay.

i've tried. as hard as you would.

right at the wrong time. it hurts.

these few days are filled with massive meet ups and overcoming-reality gatherings

it's like we are busy salvaging the last few moment we have of our youth.

ok... fine. of my youth.

this year i met my jc friends and nienies like 100000 times more than we ever did for the past 4 years.

i had 1 overnight chalet with the legendary fyf and it was one kind of epic. fun.

2 bbqs in a week and 2 excellent presentations. (imo!)

and lotsa other things left to plan. grad night. us trip. my career.

really ganna arrowed to do a lot of saikang.

but having fun is the most impt i guess.

i really need like 36 hrs a day.

being a to-be working adult is not easy!

and fighting for what i want is also not easy.

anw, good news over my causal chat. they kinda buy my idea ((:

a small little form of empowerment. is still a form of empowerment.

polling day on 7th may! thankfully that i am still in singapore.

gonna be damn exciting. gonna camp at like potong pasir, bishan, yuhua!

should i join the grassroots when my new mp comes?

i hate making decisions. sians.

why can't i be more of a leech )):

nvm. anw. if i do youth work. i will become more fit right? ((:

team excellent!

SGG.

it has been a long time since i felt so strange about my life.

and the strangest thing is that i don't know what am i feeling

WEIRD!!

anw, today's a strangely naise day too.

fighting with the r c in a m k.

finding samantha in hv.

having fun with getai.

what a day.

shorts singlet and slippers day. phails ttm

so much for social action.

i am gng to take some initiative and make things happen.

I AM GNG TO DO IT!! ((:

and maybe i should really open my own shop.

and be my own boss! YAY!

people and car watch in hv is awesome but greeneyed too )):