hello fellow cruisers out there. i'm still alive.
in the blink of an eye, it has been 3 weeks.
How time flies.

i think i'm better. much much better.
no more random outburst of emotions, no more wild thoughts,
no more thinking who he might be with. (maybe just some that comes on and off)

i really cannot control anything, except my own thoughts and actions.

looking back, the first week was the most torturous and painful week.
it hurt really badly;
the hangover feeling in your stomach, the aches in your chest and the myraid of evil thoughts in your mind.

i'm good at distracting myself. i gotta be good at it
gonna flood myself with random courses and meet ups.

but honestly, i still feel the regrets that it ended
and i am getting more and more confused why did it happen.
but the more i share, the more true it became.
however, when i look back,  i see more happy times instead;
that it happened and i never regretted. never. not a single moment of it.

thank God for the people i met. really. giving thanks again and again.

in this world, it's really hard to meet someone that you love.
i'm not saying that there is only one person in this world. no THE ONE
there are definitely many, but it's just hard to meet the right one.
there's no better or not.
it's just whether the one you meet now is worthy for all of your commitment,
to devote and to put in the effort.

there's no better or not.